Saturday, June 25, 2011

I Dedicate this to Josh The Hitman Rabedeaux....R.I.P.

Last words from his Mother....Today is a sad day and it will be the worst day of my life. I'm sitting here in the hopsital that Josh was born in and his dad Bruce and I was so excited for our son to be born March 3rd 1984, today is June 25 and we will watch our sons life end, How can this be ? How can someone who had so much to live for someone so full of life not want to be here anymore. As I have sat here in the hospital for the last five days I have watched his friends and family come to see him and so many people truely love and care about him and we thank all of you so very much. Today is a very sad day for us. My life will never be the same and a part of my life will also end without my sidekick , my bestfriend, my loving son,the person that calls me daily to tell his mom he love me. My life will never be the same. Josh was home in AZ a week ago and a week ago we was staying at a resort living life , he was golfing with my husband beating him at golf and loving life. I will never forget last weekend and as I brought him to the airport to return to Iowa I didn't know that that would be the last hug I would ever receive from him and when he looked back at me and waved it really was a final good bye. If we only knew what life changes was going to accur maybe I would have never put him on that plane. I hope all of you who are reading this takes this and uses it in your life, never say anything to hurt anyone, never treat anyone badly to where it will hurt them, also show someone they are special don't tell them there a loser or you wish them died, don't tell them there not a man because they really are. Words hurt word can take someones life. My son was hurting and if I could have taken his pain away I would have I would have given my life to him, I gave him life and today I will watch his life end. Today is the last day for me to be a mother, to kiss to hold everything, the one thing that will never stop is the love that I have for Josh he is my life, if you know me you know how I feel. Bruce and I know that Josh loved us we will never question that. I'm sorry that my son hurt so bad that he felt that he had to take his life. WHY. Please don't ever forget him please learn from this please don't ever do this because you will be leaving a lot of people who love you. One more thing if any of you ever feel like Josh did please call me send me a text or a email anything I will help you I will try to help you, you can come to AZ anything please ask for my help.Life means something. Thank you for caring about our family but most of all thank you for loving Josh..I will need some of you too ,to help me through this pain and loss of my wonderful son who I lived for who I gave life too who I loved with all of my heart.. God Bless all of you and may he keep you safe. Bonnie
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